Restless Thoughts

Run Lucky Run…

Filed under: Behind the screen..., Down the memory lane..., craps ..., uuphh yeh life!!! — chapters @ 12:43 PM

I have started my morning walks again, after a long gap. It really feels great. I had stopped my morning walk rounds because of my knee pain. Previosuly it was my left knee, but these days the right knee has taken it up as its sole responsibility to make my life more miserable. The knee pain is at its peak during the time when I wake up in the morning. It takes me around 10 to 15 minutes to get used to walking again.

Actually I was planning for jogging. But this knee pain did not allow me to do so. Hence I am just walking. Hoping to reduce few kilos so that I can run for a while. Yeah, I don’t know exactly why I want to run. Since some time, my desire for running has grown. Even I dream of running, sometimes on a lonely road, sometimes on the sea shore or sometimes in a park. I feel an undescribable restlessness in me when I saw someone running so easily.

When I was a kid, I did not run that much. I was afraid of falling down and hurting myself. And to make the matter worse, I used to get kind of pain in uper abdomen, just below the left ribs. Now, if I were able to go back to that age again, I would try to run a lot. May be I can touch and get all those things I lost if I would just run. May be I will make up the distance for which I am left behind if I could just start running.

I wish I could run

Atleast for a while

If not a mile…

Void…

Filed under: Behind the screen..., Very strange!!, craps ..., uuphh yeh life!!! — chapters @ 5:35 PM

Sometimes, when I sit in front of my system in office, my thoughts fly out of my mind and travel through all those seen & unseen paths, cross all those rivers & seas, jump over time; sometimes forward and sometimes backward. My heart wants to be anywhere but this place. Yeah… I want to run away; run away from this mad-mad rat race. I don’t want to be a part of it, because at the end of the race (if there is one end at all!), I will still be a rat.

Lately, I am having these feelings… as-if I am losing many things along with the so called rat race. I tried to divert myself from these feelings. I did lot of things to do so. I read lot of novels, watched many movies, tried my hand at some new recipes, wrote some stories, cleaned and recleaned my flat, studied, and recently I started needle works. But even after doing all these things, at the end of the day when I go to bed, I still feel lost.

It’s a feeling of not doing something which I should be doing. I don’t know exactly where I am going wrong, exactly what I should/should not be doing. It feels like a void somewhere in my life.